Excerpt and One Sheet

Getting Too Real

October 20, 1984

I had several bags in my hand and a bouquet of fresh peonies and roses. My plan was to put my groceries away, cut the flowers, and then take them and the few bags of other items to my room. This was my new life, and I wanted to embrace it fully.

When the elevator door opened, I heard the strumming of the acoustic guitar. I exited the elevator but didn’t move too far into the hallway. It was a lovely ballad, but I couldn’t place it as a song I knew. As I listened, my mind wandered to something that I wished was true. Perhaps Russell had flown in and he had written something new. The image of him playing the guitar was enough to make me move into the commons, however; it wasn’t Russell. Nigel was sitting there strumming the guitar. I remembered he had been the original guitarist; I had never really taken any stock of it. “Hi,” I said with a light smile.

He stopped as he looked up at me and smiled. “Hi, need some help?”

I returned his smile. “Thanks, but I’ve got it under control.”

He gave me a chin tip and started playing again. I set the bags on the counter before the bouquet. Damn him, why couldn’t he be anywhere but here? I tried to ignore him as I put the groceries away, but his playing was like a siren song calling me.

After putting away the few groceries, I grabbed a vase and a pair of scissors. As I stood there cutting the stems under the cool water, I hummed the tune he was playing. While I arranged the flowers, I wasn’t looking at them. My attention focused on studying him. He didn’t look like the pinup star. His hair was hanging limply, framing his face. He was wearing a black Dark Side of the Moon tee and a pair of faded blue jeans. Even dressed down, he still looked good. The reading with Justin came to mind, and I was positive Nigel could turn my world completely upside down if I let him.

When Nigel set his guitar down, I knew he caught me as he walked toward the island. I felt my heart race and looked at the flowers as I rearranged the green leaf. He leaned over and smelled the flowers, slowly letting his eyes find mine before he stood up. He never broke eye contact. “So Peonies and Roses are your favorite?”

I nervously inhaled. “I like a lot of fresh flowers.” An involuntary smile formed on my face.

“I’m sure that’s true, but you purchased these. They smell divine.”

“They do. Fresh flowers are always nice to brighten up a place.”

“Very true.” He brushed his fingertips lightly across the top of my hand. There was the calling in his touch. “Have you eaten lunch?”

I nodded nervously. “We ate at a cafe before we headed out to shop.”

“How about dinner? I can arrange something nice for just the two of us. You don’t have a shoot today and I’m not in the studio.”

“Nothing’s changed. Stepping out of this house with you would be insane.”

“We can stay here. I could have Rosie whip something up or possibly get a little bistro to deliver. Anything you want, I can get it for you.”

I smiled lightly, “I appreciate that, but-”

He took my hand in his. “Will you at least hang out with me? Tristan is off with Marlo, and well, this house is pretty big and lonely. Besides, you’re in a band. Maybe you can give me a little critique on the piece I’m working on.”

“I don’t know.” I stammered. “There are still things I have to put away.”

“Well, I’ll be here or I can come to your apartment and serenade you.” He gave me a light smile.

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

“Why not? You said you wanted to see the real me and, well, this is it.”

I pulled my hand away as I remembered him, saying he knew I wanted to be chased. Was this just part of the game he was playing? “Were you waiting for me to come back?”

He took my hand again. “What if I was?”

“Is this part of your grand plan to wear me down?”

“Ava, sometimes I say some really daft shit.”

“But that’s what you want, isn’t it?” I cocked my head at him. “You want to wear me down, so I’ll surrender to you.”

“I told you the night you won, I wanted to get to know you.”

“You did, but since that night, you’ve suggested several other things as well.”

He gave me a naughty smirk as he looked down at our hands, then locked his eyes with mine. “I want more than a shag. I want-”

I cut him off, “Like I said, I don’t have time for a relationship, besides you just broke up.”

“I told you we were headed for a breakup for a while. So, spend the afternoon with me. I promise I won’t make a move unless you want me to. I just want us to get to take some time and discover one another.”

“To what ends?”

He smiled at me. “One can never have too many friends.”

I looked at him and felt torn. I hadn’t heard from Russell in two days. Honestly, hanging out with Nigel would be better than spending the day alone and letting my mind wander about what was going on with Russell. “Grab your guitar.”

“Really?” He gave me a wide smile.

“Yes. There is no sense in both of us being alone.”

“No, there isn’t,” he patted my hand before he turned and walked to get his guitar.

He slipped the guitar strap over his shoulder and the guitar was upside down on his back. He came over to the counter took the vase of flowers and picked it up as I grabbed my two shopping bags.

“I can get it.”

“You need your hands free for your door,” he said.

I nodded, and we headed toward my apartment.

***

Nigel put the vase on the coffee table as I brought my purchases to my bedroom. I dropped the bags on the bed and closed my door before joining him. He didn’t need to see the pictures of Russell and I.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“Nah, I’m good.” He was sitting in one of the purple velvet wingback chairs as he began plucking out the tune from earlier.

I picked up the vase from the coffee table and set it on the island. What was I doing? If what Justin said was true, then I was tempting fate. I grabbed a bottle of water and walked to the chair facing him. “So, I heard rumors you played guitar.”

“I do, but Jacob is much better and if I’m honest, no one wanted to play bass. They allege bass players don’t get the girls. I’ve proven that’s not true.”

“On many occasions, I’m sure.”

He smirked at me, “While it’s true, sometimes that can be very lonely.”

“I’m sure you didn’t complain.”

“You just think I’m a walking cock, don’t you?”

I shrugged my shoulders and gave him an amused smile. “Well, you have a reputation.”

“That’s what scares you.”

“I’m not frightened by you. I just…”

“Don’t want to get hurt like your ex and Russell have done.”

“Russell’s never hurt me.”

“Not yet anyway, but give him time. He’s a great guy, but Helen is the love of his life. I’ve known him for a long time and nothing will ever change that.”

“You act like I expect to have a relationship with him.”

He let out a slow exhale as he laid his guitar in his lap. “If I’m honest, you think he’s going to marry you.”

Looking down at my hands, I looked up and found his eyes. I was trying to remember the night of Russell’s party. Had I told him that was what I wanted? “I expect nothing.”

“Your face betrays you.”

“You’re wrong. Russell and I are going to work together and that’s it. I’m well aware of how much he loves Helen. I realized, during the few days I stayed with them. They really love each other.”

“But you still love him and imagine a future with him.”

I needed to change the subject. Nigel didn’t need to be aware of how I felt about Russell. No one did except Russell. Everyone else could get fucked, because it wasn’t their concern. “You said you wanted to get to know me. My relationship with Russell is irrelevant to that.”

“It is, but I figured I might give you a little inside information since I’ve known him for so long.” He nodded his head. “But you’re right. So besides Sambuka, what type of music do you like?”

“I liked what you were playing.”

“Really? Should I continue?”

I nodded, and he started playing the tune again as I watched him. This intimate performance, for one, had me remembering back to sitting in Johnny’s room watching him play for me. Things had been simple then. They could be simple again, couldn’t they? But with whom? My mind wandered to Johnny’s betrayal and what Tommy had done, and felt my stomach twist. I had to remember that Nigel was no better than Johnny. “So what really happened between you and Melinda? Did you break up because you cheated with Natalia?”

He abruptly stopped playing and looked at me with his mouth agape. He took a moment to regroup. “It was near the end of our relationship when I cheated. If I’m honest, the night I cheated with her was the night of the Danceteria show. The show where I spotted you from the stage and then you disappeared into the crowd. Like an enigma, one minute you were there and the next you were gone.”

“That’s why you asked if I was real backstage at the contest?”

He nodded his head.

“Some scam modeling agent pulled me from the crowd. Mindy and I tried to get back to the front, but we didn’t have any luck.”

“If you would’ve been upfront, there would’ve been no Natalia.”

I laughed, “Bullshit. You came out by the cars and picked up the busty blonde, who obviously didn’t give you what you wanted.”

“Figures you were in the alley.”

“If you had found me, I wouldn’t have given in to you either.”

“That would’ve been okay. We could’ve just gone to another club and hung out. I would’ve stayed on the straight and narrow and gone home and ended it with Melinda.”

“Why?”

“Because, like I told you the night you won, you’re my destiny.”

I started laughing, but Justin said he was fated to be in my life played in my head, and I became solemn.

“You feel it too, don’t you?”

I shook my head, “No. You still see me as that kid you met after your show.”

“I’m not the one who thinks you’re a kid. That’s Russell.”

I rubbed my neck as the phone rang. It had to be Russell and this would prove to Nigel that I wasn’t just some kid in Russell’s eyes. I moved to the loveseat near Nigel and picked up the handset. “Hello.”

“Sis, hey. I just wanted to make sure you’re all settled in.”

My heart sank as I forced a smile as Nigel watched me. “Yep, I’m all settled in. How are the classes?”

“Almost finished. We have a gig tonight. What are you up to?”

I exhaled. “Nigel’s hanging out, playing a song on his guitar.”

“Nigel, as in Hartagan?”

“Yep. He’s staying at the house, too.”

“Well, I won’t keep you. Just don’t get into any trouble with him.”

I shook my head, “Never, you know me better than that.”

“The man is your kryptonite. That concert last year proved that.”

“Well, a lot has changed since then.”

“I’m not sure it really has.” He chuckled. “Call me tomorrow when you’re free.”

“Will do, love you E.”

“Love you.” The phone fell silent before I hung up the handset. “That was my brother.”

“He seems like a good kid. I got to talk to him for a few minutes at the party.”

“He’s a great kid and one hell of a keyboard player.”

“Do you have a demo?”

“I gave Russell my last one, but it was pretty bad. That’s something I plan on working on in the next few months. Part of the reason I wanted to win was to get a demo together.”

“Contrary to what you said, I had the pleasure of hearing you sing.”

“That was you in the crowd with the wig?”

“Yeah, Mindy, let it slip where you were going to be. I didn’t want to distract you, but I wanted to see you. I understand why Rusty signed you. You have an amazing voice.”

“Thanks,” I remembered us talking at the contest after the party and how I was a bitch. “I’m sorry about telling you that at the after-party. I was a little full of myself.”

“No need to apologize. You had every reason to be.” He reached over and entwined our fingers. The energy was flowing between us, but not overpowering. “You were just voted one of the most beautiful women in the world, and you had two widely desired men fawning over you. Your ego was allowed to be on.”

“Honestly, it was a front, as the entire night was rather overwhelming.”

“I get it. Trust me, there have been many times when I’ve gotten overwhelmed with my life as a member of Sambuka. I mean the total bollocks about being the sexiest man or most desirable man alive. I admit it’s amusing, but it’s just a popularity contest.”

“No more so than what I won, besides you know you’re sexy and desirable.”

A smirk played on his lips. “You think so?”

I said nothing as I swallowed.

He licked his lips. “You don’t have to say anything. I already know the answer. The truth, as I’m sure you’re aware of, is I wasn’t always this handsome and there are days where I miss being the guy I was. Well, not the thick glasses and the acne, but the normal things I used to do. It would be amazing to be able for you and me to walk out of this place and go take in the sites without having security. No one thinks about that. They think about how great the success will be, the accolades, the money, the fame, but they never wonder about what they’re giving up.”

“Russell and I did some sightseeing in New York,” I offered, hoping he’d realize the future didn’t have to be bad.

“Did you? Well, he’s been out of the limelight for a while. I realize we won’t always have this craziness. Eventually, I’ll enjoy the luxury again, but then what’s the cost? Will I become irrelevant?”

I let his words linger in my head. That was one reason Russell passed on singing for the contest. He felt irrelevant. As I looked at Nigel, I realized he was being straight with me. There was no pretense. “It must be pretty hard never to have that normalcy.”

“It can be.” He pulled his lips in and looked down at our hands. “I think that’s why I started looking for an escape.” He looked at me. “I needed a way out, even if it’s just for a little bit.” He pulled his hand away. “I should go.”

“Why? Things getting too real?”

“I never let anyone see me like this. No one’s supposed to know.”

I touched his cheek, “And they won’t. It’ll be between you and me.”

“I should go.” He exhaled and went to stand.

I reach for his hand. “Please stay.”

He shook his head. “I like my games and this isn’t part of one. I’m not sure what you’ve done to me, but it’s best if I go.”

I stood up and took the guitar from his hand and set it on the loveseat. “You let me in. Let me see the real you. You let no one in, do you?” I cupped his face and met his eyes.

He caressed my cheek. “Not in a very long time.”

Seeing the venerability in his eyes made all the walls I had come down. He wasn’t so secure and something told me the real man was someone that I could fall in love with. I went to kiss him, but much to my surprise, he spoke.

“I’m going to go before we both do something stupid.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek before he reached around me for the guitar.

“I thought you wanted to hang out, maybe have dinner later.”

He opened the door and looked back at me and shook his head. “Another time, have a good day,” with his last statement, he walked out.

I sat back on the couch and for the first time, I knew I could give easily give into Nigel. Between his touch and the way he looked at me, I knew I could be everything to him. He told me he would’ve broken up with Melinda that night if I wouldn’t have vanished. He would’ve chosen me. Even today, Russell was still choosing Helen. At least, that’s what I thought about his disappearance.