In Motion

October 16, 1984

New York City

I told Tristan that we should stay in Mohawk’s mansion in Paris. Explained, we could have parties and his bride wouldn’t be the wiser. That convinced him to call Rusty. My plan had worked, and I was satisfied knowing I’d get to see Ava away from Rusty. Tristan took care of calling his brother and I’d just reap the benefits.

I sat on the black leather couch and looked at the lithograph of Ava hanging above the mantle. Taking a swig of scotch, I thought about how I wanted to have the few glimpses of happiness I remembered from my coma with her. While a lot had been twisted and terrible, I knew in my heart that some of our time together had been perfect and wonderful. I took a sip of scotch. If that was the case, why had I thought Melinda was the one that got away my mind retorted? I looked up at Ava’s image as I verbalized my thoughts. “When I woke up, all I wanted was you. Every waking moment, whether or not I admit it, I’ve thought of you.” I raised my glass toward the image. “How can I feel the way I do about you when I don’t even know you? I shouldn’t love you, but for some reason, deep down, I know I do.”

I finished my scotch and set the glass down. I played with my bottom lip and thought about her lips pressed to mine. While I knew the sensation from the party, she was slightly drunk and there was no genuine passion, but we still had that fucking energy. Even when we were both sober, the next day, the intensity only grew. I thought back to the dream that had been haunting me, and let it play in my head. Since the last moments of my coma, when I woke up with her lying next to me, she had been on my mind. I remember her smiling at me as she turned over and laid her hand on my chest. She playfully bit her lip, before she ran a finger up and down my chest teasingly. I closed my eyes as I thought about the night at Rusty’s party and how her touch drove me crazy. She slowly climbed on top of me and straddled me, and looked down, smiling wickedly, as if she had found her prey.

Sliding her hands up my chest, she kissed me lightly. I remembered that intense moment of déjà vu. However, I let my mind fall for a fantasy of the dream, and our reality at Rusty’s blend.

Her lips met mine again, and I rolled us over so I was on top of her.

She was so fucking beautiful; I thought as I remembered her kiss. Opening my eyes, I looked up at her. I had changed things from my nightmare. Then I met her at an airport, not backstage at the contest, so maybe we could have the perfect life I craved. We’d have a family. Me and our little girl would be the only people that mattered to her. She’d give up modeling and everything for me, wouldn’t she? Shaking my head, I knew I couldn’t ask her to do that. It wasn’t right. I heard her sing. I couldn’t take that away from her. Maybe because we were meeting earlier, her ex wouldn’t matter. She and I could fall in love. She understood me and loved me unconditionally in that world. The truth was, she was the only one who did. If only she could be that woman in this world.

I got up and grabbed another glass of scotch, a couple of towels, and some lotion. While I could’ve ordered up some company, I knew the only one that could satisfy my lust currently would be Ava. She might not be right in front of me, but I certainly could create a vision of her on her knees, taking me in her mouth.

Laying the towel on the couch, I wanted to contain my mess. I dropped my pants and bikini briefs before I sat down on the towel to allow the image of the goddess on the wall to fill my mind. All the wicked things we’d do if given the chance. Her lips beckoned me, and I remembered kissing her at Rusty’s. Her lips were soft like I remembered.

I hoped when I arrived in Paris tomorrow I’d see her. We’d go to dinner and then I’d take her to my apartment. Maybe if I had her, I’d realize it wasn’t love, just lust that I was feeling. As I looked at her, I knew it was more than that. There was something at my core that recognized her. Something told me before I came back here, I’d have her as my own. Like I told her the night we met, she was my destiny.

I reached for the lotion and knew I needed to take care of my hard-on before Ava left me blue-balled and aching once again.